____________ in the armor.....

I was just reading an article on yahoo about the headline on ESPN's website that caused an ESPN writer to lose his job ESPN Fires Writer.  Does Chink in Armor ring any bells?  What bothers me the most, is not the article itself, not even the incidents themselves, but the reaction of the people.  Take a minute to scroll down the page to the comments.  First of all, people cannot understand why this is an offensive term.  The word chink, in reference to Asian people, particularly to Chinese people, is derogatory.  It's a term that says that we are not equals, that we are beneath white people.


Yet, some people are actually outraged.  They aren't outraged at the term used, but rather upset that a writer has been fired and an anchor has been suspended for 30 days for writing and using the term respectively.  To say that the term was not meant to be offensive is ridiculous.  With all the "Linsanity", are you trying to tell me that the writer and anchor did not realize that Jeremy Lin was Chinese ?  You would think that if they were aware of his ethnicity then maybe they would have realized that Chink in the armor could only be construed as a racial term.  This term was not funny, I don't care whether or not the anchor's wife is Asian, it's still an inappropriate term when used in reference to Jeremy Lin or any other Asian person.  I refuse to believe that this was an innocent comment.  An unhappy coincidence? Please.  If they had used the N word, no one would be arguing over its inappropriateness.  Perhaps we can remember that Asians are people too?

Banana

When I was a kid, my brothers used to call me ABC...American born Chinese....so even though my Cantonese is better than theirs, and even though, I have always shown more interest in Chinese culture than they ever did, I was never viewed as Chinese enough.  In fact, to my brothers, and many other Chinese people I've met,  I've been told I speak Chinese funny, and I act too white.

However, what I experience in my daily life is that I cannot hide my Chinese culture.  I may speak English clearly, and "act white", but even behind sunglasses....I am Chinese.  You look at me and you see the yellow skin tone and almond eyes.  How many times have I been asked to translate?  Or say something Chinese?  Do people not understand how degrading that can feel?

I'm still caught somewhere in the middle.

Getting Old

As a little girl, I probably dreamed about a big fancy wedding, and having kids at this age.  But.....at 28,  my life hasn't exactly taken the fairy tale route.  In examining all the different aspects of my life, there are a lot of things that are going pretty well for me.

First of all, even though I'm not where I want to be financially, I love my job.  I'm not sure I thought I'd be a fifth grade teacher, but I couldn't imagine doing anything else at this point in my life.  Maybe some day I'll move on to something else, but for now, this is where it's at.  I have a long commute, but it doesn't bother me in the least, because I actually enjoy going to my job.

However, when it comes to love, I wonder if I'm two steps behind.  Have I found the love of my life?  I'm pretty sure I have, but as I watch my friends get engaged, and have children....I can't but wonder why I'm not there in my life yet.  Am I flawed?  Is something wrong?  Is it because I'm part of the broken engagement club?  Am I a failure and just can't see it?

Every couple moves at their own pace. but what do you do when you're not on the same page?  Keith is the more level headed of the two of us.  If you know me, then you would know that I'm a hopeless romantic.  I'd live in a shoebox as long as I'm with the one I love.  Keith?  Well, he's got a plan, and he's awesome at making his plan happen.  His plan is career, house, then marriage.

So why does it feel like I'm on the back burner?  I get it, guys want to be the breadwinner.  They want to be financially secure before they settle down.  But I feel like the biological clock is ticking.  Not sure if I want a baby....but I'm definitely ready for marriage.....

Musings

Welcome to my new blog, just here to post some musings and a little bit about my biculturalism....:)